The Show

So there I am back at work nine weeks after I had given birth to my beautiful (you always have to throw in that adjective even if your baby is ugly) baby girl. I was doing a standup comedy show out of town and when I say out of town I think it was more like a village. I had prepared myself the best I could, by that I mean I had put on a good bra and nursing pads. When I breast feed I was more like a Guinness tap in an Irish bar on Saint Paddy’s Day.

I was working with a very talented young comic by the name of Jason Rouse. He’s tattooed, pierced and more times than not naked by the end of his show. If you’ve ever seen the movie, TV show Jack Ass, he’s one of those guys. He was always really nice to me and as crazy and shocking as he came across we had a great working relationship. He was the guy known for peeing in a water bottle in the car and if he wanted to shock you he’d drink it, or so the rumor goes.

We had two shows that night; the first one went on without a letdown. I was feeling pretty good and the second one was just about to begin, Jason was up to his usual antics with his buddy’s. I was wearing a light gray empress style shirt that night (I had to hide the post pregnancy tummy). The music was beginning and I turned to Jason to say, “Have a good show.” His jaw dropped and his face went flush as he pointed to my shirt, trying not to look at the same time. My light gray shirt now had very dark circles around my breasts, and the milk was now coming out in stream that had a good 5-foot range. As I pressed my elbows to my breast Jason was beside himself. I looked at him with disbelief the man who embraced every bodily function was taken down by the mom and her breast milk.